People say when you have a kid you move to the suburbs, get a minivan, have the perfect room for the baby and lots of toys to play with. We, instead, chose to rent our place, sell our cars and live in Europe for a while. So far, my love, I can tell you this much about our experience:
– Home is where you want to be. I spent 12 years thinking that Miami was not my home, I missed my hometown (Caracas) and I felt disconnected in my new city. Well, now I can tell you, it is normal to feel that way. You can move to your dream place and still feel empty inside at times. So my guess is that is a feeling that haunts all of us that choose to leave our hometowns. If you decide to move to a new city, make sure you feel at home right away. Make the landscapes, restaurants, smells, rainy or shiny days and holidays part of you. That is a plus that you get to experience every time you move. It makes you start all over again, it’s a master reset.
– Yeah, start all over again. This is very important to understand. No matter how much money you carry with you, degrees, jobs on your Resume, business contacts, family: you will always start again… from very close to zero. No one knows you and probably you don’t know anyone. This does not mean you have to prove yourself day and night, but… are you familiar with the world “humility“?, well… moving to a different place really makes you aware of the meaning and use of it. So to a certain degree, I feel everybody should move once or twice in their lifetime.
– Be consistent. It is not about how smart you are. It is about how dedicated and persistent you are. Your dad is very good at this. He is the one that keeps me grounded, focused and motivated. It is easy to see outside the window and to not want to be part of the world at times (even more if you live in a rainy place), but being consistent is not just an idea, is a lifestyle. Just stick to your original plan and it will all play out. From my experience, after a big change, it takes about 3 years to start seeing how it pays off.
– Be ready for a big emotional roller coaster. Some days you will doubt your decision process, but you see.. some days you will feel on top of the world. Make those days count more and the balance will always stay on the positive side. If you are doing something out of your comfort zone, you are very brave. You are pushing the wall and making space for innovation. Even if that ends the chapter with you going back to your hometown, for example; I can assure you: the person that left will not be the same one that comes back. Use the time to your advantage. I can guarantee you that you will say one day… but 10 years ago I was complaining so much and looking back, I had such a wonderful life! Yes, we DO have a wonderful life, we just need to be mindful and enjoy what we are doing, instead of using our brains to remember what we left behind.
But hey, if you are reading this and you are like… I love my comfort zone. Then great!. You know where you are and that you are full and complete. What cannot happen is complain over an over about the present but never act and change what bothers you (this applies for relationships, jobs, addictions and poor fashion trends :p ).
– If being in a relationship is up your alley, make sure you build one with someone you want to be in the worst moments. When there is nowhere to go to, no money, no agenda, no fancy restaurants or even a TV. In those times, you will grow stronger, together and literally AS ONE. Hard times will not make you doubt of your decision of being with that person, but make you realize that you could not have made a better decision. Believe me when I say that creativity will play a great role here and things will start to develop and move in the right direction. Love is not a destination or a feeling where once achieved you will stay there. Instead, is a combination of admiration, respect, compassion, hard work, tolerance, acceptance and desire to share your path with someone else. This path, of course, includes failures.
– You need a lot less than what society makes you believe. It is ok to have things, but there is no need to collect things in your house. It is very liberating to move around with 2 suitcases. It is really all you need. However, make sure your home has things that you like: pictures, candles, a nice sofa, maybe you like kitchen equipments (I DO!) and you love cooking and creating with all of them. But what you have is for you to use, not for you to show off or stuff your closets. This even applies to food. It is so nice to have just what you really will eat!
For now, we are in a beautiful land, surrounded by mountains, rivers, Atlantic Ocean and medieval towns. You are learning a language very familiar to me at daycare and growing in a natural environment. We will enjoy it until we decide to move on with our adventure. No matter how hard society wants you to fall into their spell, rules and expected paths… nobody needs to know if at the end, subes o baixas.